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Again, this is a hard thing to reconcile if you don’t live in Japan, but being in a relationship and having sex have precious little to do with one another. The fact is, you don’t challenge what you’re told, you don’t offer up original ideas, and you don’t initiate conversation with strangers. I actually rode the elevator down with a guy yesterday. Japanese people excel at social interactions when there are clearly defined roles: Boss and Worker, Clerk and Customer, Drunk Salaryman and Gaijin.For a Japanese male, it’s possible to get sex almost anywhere, at any time, for little more than the price of a decent lunch. [*Note to self: insert more nuanced term before posting this.] The society functions with robot-like efficiency because your boss tells you what do—or your parents, or your teacher—and you do it. If you work in a ramen shop, you don’t say, “Hey boss, how about if, instead of two pieces of pork in the noodles, we tried ? Which presents a koan-like riddle: If you don’t talk to people you don’t know, how do you get to know people? He was about my age and was tying his tie while I was still fumbling into my shoes. “Oh jeez, I can’t believe my alarm didn’t go off.” C. There are clear rules and precedents for those situations. “I think we’re in a recession.” So then after work, I went to my usual , which is basically like a cheap restaurant.You can be that crazy dude who lives under a bridge and rides a bicycle with garbage bags full of tin cans hanging off the back, but as long as you’re “Japanese,” you’re good to go. Afterwards, I go to a bar, and every week, sure as hell, someone will approach me and say, “Wow, let’s speak English together! People are massively impacted by their environment and the people around them. The place was packed full of about thirty guys and gals in dark suits all sitting alone in silence, eating and reading manga or staring at their smartphones with glazed eyes.But Japanese racism is a whole other subject.) Now, I’m in no way saying that the majority of men and women participate in this, but the fact that the institution exists changes the social dynamic. ” Now, I may even want to, but really, who gives away what they can sell? So prostitution has turned sex in Japan into a commodity. I stayed for about an hour and a half, ate some grilled mackerel and rice and miso soup, drank an Asahi beer, and watched TV. The only person I talked with was the waitress, which is pretty typical.Why is it I never see anyone on a balcony or in a window? Then I opened the door and found my apartment just as I left it, full of dirty laundry and Cup Noodle containers.And suddenly that seemed kind of strange, but then the feeling passed. Nah, Japan’s still wonderful, I thought as I took a can of malt liquor from the fridge. Someone to clean this place up, cook me some hot meals, and love, eventually.Ah, sex in Japan, always a hot topic in online forums.If you’re a man, and you post: I’m having lots of sex in Japan!

A lot of people are apparently “just saying no” to the whole thing. For Japanese folks, it’s insanely difficult to establish friendships and connections, which is no doubt why so many Host and Hostess Bars exist, so people can at least to talk to them.

She used to get drunk and try to kiss me whenever my girlfriend ran to the bathroom. Well, there is a little brown canal nearby, so I guess that’s something.

I stepped around some rain puddles on the asphalt as I walked past the same gray blocks of condominiums I do every day, and thought, There must be a thousand units, and someone living in each one.

“Every day at 4 a.m.,” she said, “they’d turn off the lights and we’d sleep at our desks for four hours. I am, however, a big fan of marshmallow Peeps, so maybe it’s not as infrequent as you think.

The young Japanese people of today grew up watching their parents live this life, and it’s understandable if they’re not thrilled about this option.

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Anyone who’s been in Japan for even a short while has seen the rows of shops offering all the usual services. I’ve lived in my current apartment building for, let’s see, about a year and a half now. Anyway, in that time the number of neighbors I’ve met is . Okay, so here’s a little quiz for you, to see how well you know Japanese culture: I figured I’d break the ice with a non-threatening situational observation, so I said in Japanese: “Yeah, another busy morning, huh? But for two Japanese people to strike up a conversation while in line at the grocery store? It’s a tad dingy and run-down, but the food’s solid.

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